Animal lovers.....beware!!! (Government Intervention)

A little rebellion now and then...is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826), Letter to James Madison, 1787

All this talk about religious extremism makes me feel like joining a Montana militia or getting a bunch of people together to drink some "koolaid". Relax, it is statistically proven that my predictions have only a 0.000001% to 99.9999% chance of ever happening. I bet we can all agree which end of that statistic will come true. LOL!

Ah but I digress from the point of this blog, so we are going to get back to the problem at hand: Today’s political woes.

One of today’s primary concerns- When monkies attack!!

So a couple of months ago some lady in Connecticut was attacked by a chimpanzee. It was a particularly slow week in the media, thus this story was the best frenzy they could come up with. Like 48 hours later, congress started working on a bill to ban interstate monkey sales. The House floor actually spent our taxable time to debate whether or not monkeys could be bought by joe blow citizens. As it turns out this was a bill that had previously been swept under the rug, but this catastrophic monkey attack was all the excitement that was needed to bring it right back to the forefront of our nation’s greatest needs!

Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.) said the chimp attack, in which a woman suffered massive injuries after a friend's pet attacked her, put "renewed urgency" behind the bill, which the chamber passed last session but the Senate didn't touch. Del. Madeleine Bordallo (D-Guam) called it "very timely legislation."

Thank you Representative Blumenauer and Delegate Bordallo, you guys truly understand the importance of making sure that this singular monkey attack will be the only civilian monkey attack in recorded history. Now we just need to pass a bill outlawing monkeys from flinging poo at people in the zoo.

But here is the main point- Where is the line which separates necessary government intervention and unnecessary intervention? I have acknowledged the fact that most of my recommended political changes will never happen, so today I am going to make a recommendation that I know politicians, of all walks of life, will love. They will love it because it means organizing yet another overseeing committee. Politicians love committees as much as they love pork. They love hearing of committees, they love being on committees, they love knowing that some special interest was important enough that somebody deemed an entire committee should be formed to regulate that special interest. This committee gives politicians what they love more than anything in life……a super human special power. I am not talking about x-ray vision or super strength; Bob Dole showed us that was impossible. No, this super human power is the ability to make a decision and people have to uphold that decision. Because after all, politicians are the people that weren’t smart enough to make it to the Supreme Court, being a politician is the next best thing. But I digress.

This special overseeing committee will make sure that any bill that is presented to congress passes through this new committee first. The committee has no other purpose than to filter out crappy legislation. If the committee decides a bill or measure is worth the taxpayer’s time then it gets pushed to the next level. If the committee can’t possibly figure out how this will be for the good of the people or will only affect 0.000084% of Americans then the bill stops right there. We don’t need more laws governing frivolous things. In fact, we could really streamline bad bills from happening if we attached a punishment on people who put forth the bad bill. I think the punishment should be a one month revocation of all political duties and affairs. During that time, they will work 40 hours a week at a fast food restaurant to get back in touch with real people and real events. Ah it sounds like music to my ears, “Welcome to Arby’s, this is Governor Bill Richardson, how may I take your order?”