Creditors have better memories than debtors.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
Your attention please! Everyone, I know the government’s plan to completely turn around our economy is the plan we must follow! There is only one way that all the businesses in the U.S. can survive this terrible economic crisis! Let me help you on this path to recovery.
Step 1: Warm up your computer or find a nice black ball point pen.
Step 2: Find as many credit card applications as humanly possible whether online or rewarded to you through snail mail.
Step 3: Fill them all out. Fill them out for yourself, your spouse, any legal age children, any unsuspecting parent, friend or acquaintance.
Step 4: When the credit cards come in through the mail, use them. You must max them out as soon as possible! This is a dire emergency so you must act quickly! Be sure to buy anything from the American automotive industry, as they are about to tank first.
Thank you for fulfilling your patriotic duty. You have helped the livelihood of every remaining business owned by Chinese nationals -our only means of survival!
I absolutely cannot believe the crap that was rolling out of every economist’s mouth regarding our path to recovery. Within two consecutive sentences they would say something like, “This meltdown is occurring because of bad lending practices and unwise consumer spending. The only way we can fix this mess is if consumers wisely spend more money.” What??!! That is like saying, “the way to fix this problem is to continue on the path that got us here.”
Two-thirds of our economy is reliant upon consumer spending. How is that even possible?? No really, how is that even possible? Answer: Consumer debt.
Baby boom generation, Generation Jones, Generation X, MTV generation, Generation Y, Generation Z, these were terms used to describe generations by demographics. I would like to rename my generation the “Generation of Consumer Debt Defaulters.” For some unknown reason, people of my generation can have available to them tens of thousands of dollars and they feel ok about having that debt hanging over their heads. Not that they were planning on not paying that debt back……. but one day life happens and they are screwed. They learned this spending behavior from their parents. My grandparents were the last generation to have something known as a “savings account.” I know, I don’t know what that is either, but I hear it helps people somehow. If anyone knows where I can buy one of these “savings accounts” please let me know.
Step 1: Warm up your computer or find a nice black ball point pen.
Step 2: Find as many credit card applications as humanly possible whether online or rewarded to you through snail mail.
Step 3: Fill them all out. Fill them out for yourself, your spouse, any legal age children, any unsuspecting parent, friend or acquaintance.
Step 4: When the credit cards come in through the mail, use them. You must max them out as soon as possible! This is a dire emergency so you must act quickly! Be sure to buy anything from the American automotive industry, as they are about to tank first.
Thank you for fulfilling your patriotic duty. You have helped the livelihood of every remaining business owned by Chinese nationals -our only means of survival!
I absolutely cannot believe the crap that was rolling out of every economist’s mouth regarding our path to recovery. Within two consecutive sentences they would say something like, “This meltdown is occurring because of bad lending practices and unwise consumer spending. The only way we can fix this mess is if consumers wisely spend more money.” What??!! That is like saying, “the way to fix this problem is to continue on the path that got us here.”
Two-thirds of our economy is reliant upon consumer spending. How is that even possible?? No really, how is that even possible? Answer: Consumer debt.
Baby boom generation, Generation Jones, Generation X, MTV generation, Generation Y, Generation Z, these were terms used to describe generations by demographics. I would like to rename my generation the “Generation of Consumer Debt Defaulters.” For some unknown reason, people of my generation can have available to them tens of thousands of dollars and they feel ok about having that debt hanging over their heads. Not that they were planning on not paying that debt back……. but one day life happens and they are screwed. They learned this spending behavior from their parents. My grandparents were the last generation to have something known as a “savings account.” I know, I don’t know what that is either, but I hear it helps people somehow. If anyone knows where I can buy one of these “savings accounts” please let me know.
Fear not my friends for there is a Savior among us. He will save us from our stupidity because we cannot think for ourselves nor do we have the responsibility to think for ourselves. That’s our constitutional right!
The president has been pushing for increased credit-card industry accountability and more protection for consumers as the recession straps families. "It's time for strong and reliable protections for our consumers," Obama said. "It's time for reform that is built on transparency, accountability, and mutual responsibility -- values fundamental to the new foundation we seek to build for our economy."
Consumers also bear responsibility, Obama said, noting that too many have been "living beyond their means," thereby contributing to their own problems.
Mr. President continued saying,”How dare you, credit–card industry, for doing what you said you were going to do! Shame on you! Only you are to blame for the indiscretions of your clients. You only sent them 16 pages worth of explanation as required by the government that spelled this all out for your clients. What do you mean, that document is too long for any sane person to read? If they don’t read it, you are to blame for not being transparent, accountable or mutually responsible for your clients. ” Whoops he didn’t say that. Sounds like he has already figured out what generation he wants to buy votes from: mine.
The president has been pushing for increased credit-card industry accountability and more protection for consumers as the recession straps families. "It's time for strong and reliable protections for our consumers," Obama said. "It's time for reform that is built on transparency, accountability, and mutual responsibility -- values fundamental to the new foundation we seek to build for our economy."
Consumers also bear responsibility, Obama said, noting that too many have been "living beyond their means," thereby contributing to their own problems.
Mr. President continued saying,”How dare you, credit–card industry, for doing what you said you were going to do! Shame on you! Only you are to blame for the indiscretions of your clients. You only sent them 16 pages worth of explanation as required by the government that spelled this all out for your clients. What do you mean, that document is too long for any sane person to read? If they don’t read it, you are to blame for not being transparent, accountable or mutually responsible for your clients. ” Whoops he didn’t say that. Sounds like he has already figured out what generation he wants to buy votes from: mine.
Mark my words, this obama credit-card industry intervention coming down the pipeline will do nothing more than change the amount of paper the credit card companies already send to you and Mr. president wants to try and stop Credit Companies from making money off of people defaulting or ever change the interest rate for any reason. These changes will not occur. Why? Because the government doesn’t have the power to tell a business how it should be run unless it is illegal. The credit companies never did anything illegal in the first place. Credit companies have the right to make money off dumb people. What kind of rock do people live under that they were, “completely unaware that my APR would go from 9% to 89% compounded hourly because I forgot to pay my bill since 2005.”
A coworker often tells me, “don’t give anyone advice that didn’t ask for it. You will just piss them off.” If you read the next paragraph I want you to know it may sound like advice, therefore is rather offensive. I am the last guy to have figured out the secrets of the universe, but if you want some advice read on……
I want to let you all know that it is ok to live within your means! It is ok to have hand-me-down furniture and a used car! Everyone has fallen into the plague of “keeping up with the Jones’.” My father used to tell me something very wise. He said, “Money will never make you happy but the lack thereof can make you very unhappy.” Just because you graduated college 3 weeks ago, doesn’t mean you can afford to buy a house, new car, furniture and a complete new wardrobe. If you can afford to do that please tell me what you got your degree in so I can go back to school! As nice as that new house, new car, and new furniture feels, it will not feel so good when your introductory interest rate disappears and you have three pennies to rub together before you default on your loans.
I want to let you all know that it is ok to live within your means! It is ok to have hand-me-down furniture and a used car! Everyone has fallen into the plague of “keeping up with the Jones’.” My father used to tell me something very wise. He said, “Money will never make you happy but the lack thereof can make you very unhappy.” Just because you graduated college 3 weeks ago, doesn’t mean you can afford to buy a house, new car, furniture and a complete new wardrobe. If you can afford to do that please tell me what you got your degree in so I can go back to school! As nice as that new house, new car, and new furniture feels, it will not feel so good when your introductory interest rate disappears and you have three pennies to rub together before you default on your loans.
You know what a real politician with a real backbone would do? (Such a politician will never exist because they are too mindful of walking on eggshells in order to get into a political office again.) A real politician would say, “People you screwed yourself on this one. There is no such thing as an easy buck or quick money. Time will prove that again and again. If you really want to dig yourself out of this mess figure out how to 1) live within your means and 2) produce a product that people want at a price that you and a buyer can live with. If we, the government, get in your way at doing either of those things then please burn our buildings to the ground because we are not serving our purpose.” Good luck finding that politician.
I just hope I get another “tax rebate” of $600 per dependent. That scheme really pulled us out of a pickle, didn’t it??!! Yeah right. Thankfully this year Mr. President has your back, he promised $14 per paycheck to be given back to you for an entire year. Awesome!! Bailouts, rebates, incentive programs, paybacks-these are made up words/programs to put band-aids on a problem that politicians refuse to fix so they pass it on to the next generation. Why fix a difficult problem when you can just print more funny money? I will take my paycheck in Yen please.
I just hope I get another “tax rebate” of $600 per dependent. That scheme really pulled us out of a pickle, didn’t it??!! Yeah right. Thankfully this year Mr. President has your back, he promised $14 per paycheck to be given back to you for an entire year. Awesome!! Bailouts, rebates, incentive programs, paybacks-these are made up words/programs to put band-aids on a problem that politicians refuse to fix so they pass it on to the next generation. Why fix a difficult problem when you can just print more funny money? I will take my paycheck in Yen please.
3 comments:
Hey bro, I need your social security number to finish filling out this credit card application. I plan on buying a savings account, but I can't seem to find one on Amazon or any other online store for that matter.
My great-great-great grandfather Jasper Woodworth(1841-1918) said, "Never owed or borrowed a dime...Never run a store debt. Never went on another's note nor asked anyone to go on mine...It was not that I was flush with money that I adopted the cash system, but because I wished to keep out of debt --- as is the old saying 'Pay as you go then what you have you'll know.' One has to practice a great deal of economy and self-denial to keep straight with the world, but I believe its the best resolve that one can make and it would be much better for everybody if the rule was generally adopted."
I'm that 3 week college grad looking for that new car and new house. My bank account is emty but i know how to make some quick cash, if I bought those two things government rebates would put at least 10 grand in my bank account. :) I'm in!!
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