Monster Trucks Get Chicks......White Trash Ones (Government Inc.)

The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)

I am a man. Every man, which hopes to one day become a “burly man”, needs a truck. This is a fact. Without a truck, a man is denied multiple opportunities to lean against the truck to scratch his balls, spit and talk about manly things. Without a truck he can’t go into the wilderness to add “desert pin striping”, change the oil by ripping off the oil pan, unnecessarily tow and haul things, and be able to destroy small hybrid vehicles in collisions without acquiring the smallest scratch on his truck. Men are very passionate about trucks. I have seen guys that have trucks which are easily worth 3-4 times the value of his house. This shows that he has completely dedicated himself to becoming a “burly man”.

My truck

One day at work, we seized a truck’s engine for some thermal studies we were doing. The testing was concluded and my company wanted to unload the truck. I managed to get it running again and said I would give them a couple hundred bucks for it. At the time, I didn’t have a truck and was feeling rather effeminate. After explaining, to my wife, the benefits of having a bent up, rusted, dented, ugly ole farm truck on our property in order to increase the value of our house, I was allowed to make the purchase.

Oh she is glorious. Her name is “Beater”. She is even white like a wife-beater.

Being a responsible U.S. citizen, I thought I would take the truck, proof of cheapo liability insurance, title, and bill of sale down to the DMV express to pay my sales tax, registration and get a license plate. A real nice girl at the DMV took all my info and papers and began the process. As it turns out the last two owners on the title of the vehicle had not paid to register the vehicle within my state. Oh well, at least I am responsible enough to register the vehicle, right? That is where the trouble began.

I actually dislike only one politician in the world. I think Jimmy Carter was a huge moron, but I don’t dislike him. The only politician I dislike is my current state governor, Mr. Bill Richardson. He is the only politician that has managed to screw me, personally, on a couple of occasions. Here is how he screwed me this time…..

Part 1
So Mr. Richardson passed some legislation, this last year, saying that if you buy a vehicle and the previous owner/s did not pay registration on the vehicle, then the current owner gets to pay all those past fines and registration bills. I was supposed to cover the two previous owners for all the money they never paid up for all those years. Add $XX.XX plus the cost of registration for myself.

Part 2
So Mr. Richardson passed some more legislation, this last year, saying that you are no longer taxed 3% of the bill of sale price on the vehicle, but you are now taxed 3% on the blue book value of the vehicle. If you feel that your actual vehicle value does not meet the blue book value, then you have to appeal to the state regarding the value of the vehicle which may or may not be changed. The girl at the DMV then actually handed me a document which showed the value of a private sale was around $2,000 and the blue book value of the vehicle was a little over $8,000. There is no way in #$*@ the truck is even worth $2,000 much less $8,000. Add $XX.XX to the previous total.

The amount of dinero I was supposed to pay for tax, registration, and license was more than I even paid for the truck. I thought I was doing the right thing by even coming in to register and title the vehicle. I was never going to drive it except to landscape my yard, after that it could have died and I could care less. For knowing I would never drive the vehicle, the ONLY reason I came to the DMV was to do the right thing. Little did I know, my state government was planning on making a profit off me. The girl behind the counter, a DMV employee, laughed at how much money I was supposed to pay and said, “I wouldn’t even pay that.” We had a nice laugh about how ridiculous it was and I collected my documents and headed out the door without donating a penny to my state.

Now I could make many points about bad government intervention from this example but my real point is this: Since when did the Government stop trying to be a non-profit organization and turn into another business?

As far as I can tell, the only reason we title and register vehicles is because the government wants to track the ownership of a valuable possession to collect some taxes on it. As we all know, if large sums of money are moved in any fashion, the government wants in on it. Each state wants their 2-7% of the value of the vehicle to make some money and cover the cost of making a paper trail to track ownership. The only thing they are really doing is making a paper trail. It takes about 5 minutes to enter some information into a computer and it costs you hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, to accomplish that. This is the most efficient business model ever created. All businesses need to figure out how to accomplish this. Even after all that, they want $50 each year to re-register the vehicle. We can use this knowledge to create a mathematical formula to understand a simple government expense and billing process.

Government Money Making Scheme Part 1
+ 3% of Inflated Blue Book Value of the car
+ Registration
+ Past registration and fees
+ Title processing
+ License Plate
Total One time Registration Bill: 148.7% of the value of the vehicle

Government Money Making Scheme Part 2
+1 piece of paper with printed ink characters
+1 pre-addressed envelope
+1 stamp to mail paper and envelope
+35 seconds for MVD worker to open envelope and check a box somewhere indicating payment
Total Yearly Registration Bill: $50 billed to car owner +cost of stamp

Does anyone know if I can buy stock in the Government? With a business model like that they have to do very well and I want in.

Let’s reiterate the main point of this story. The only reason the government does all of this is just to track ownership, yet they have turned it into a money making scheme and they get away with it because we are required by law to comply with this process.

So now I have added one more unregistered, uninsured vehicle to the road. Now that I think about it, that actually puts me right into the demographic of people that voted for Mr. Bill Richardson anyway. If we know one thing about politicians, they would never ever negatively affect their contingency. I am no longer a tax paying, vehicle registering, insurance complying person…….I am a New Mexican.

Government, Inc.
As I ponder upon why the government applies taxes to us, I realize something is occurring right under our noses. (For a funny little poem on taxes see the following link) The tax system is entirely too complex to evaluate, but at least I can evaluate what taxes are needed for:
Infrastructure –Roads, parks, water, sewage, courthouses, dams, libraries, etc.
Safety systems – Fire department, FBI, police, soil and water conservation, maybe even FEMA?
Social support – mentally and physically infirm, elderly, children
Defense - Army, Navy, coastguard, CIA, Border Patrol, etc.
Laws – Somebody has to spend some time to figure out the rules we will live by

Now you can imagine lots of little ants running around trying to support these five points. Those ants take time, talents, effort, money and materials to do what they do; it is a very big system to support 306 million people. So big in fact that one might conclude we should also add an item #6, then #7, then #8. See, we vote in the kind of people that will change things to be the way we want it and they can control all these issues. Power to the people! Maybe we could get everything run by the government. Anything that seems unfair, irrational, unjust, or complex can be transferred to our huge government to begin controlling that system. They may have to tax us a little more, but it has to be a good change, right?

Currently the government is just about intervening on everything we ever do, and they tax us for that. We don’t even attempt to fix our own problems because there is either already a government program for this problem or one is in the pipeline shortly to be added. The government is becoming a big business because we don’t produce our own business anymore.

Every year the government will tax us more and more and more because of more and more government intervention. It is a simple formula: the reason they tax us more is because they are intervening more. I would like to introduce the word “socialism.” Any historian or economist will tell you that today our government is tending towards socialism rather than towards a pure capitalistic based democracy. Am I the only one that doesn’t like that idea?!

So what do we do to fix it? The problem is the government has become so big and so integrated that I don’t know how to reverse its direction. Other than pulling the plug, AKA anarchy, how do you stop it or put it in reverse? My brother told me something awhile back that made me think. He said,
“I was talking some of these ideas up with a good friend here in Monterey, he’s very smart and politically active, and his response really broke my heart. Essentially, he said, “I used to be Libertarian, but I stopped because I realized what would happen to America if we cut a lot of the government fat. The families of our society are too dependent on redistribution of money – society would go through a time of dysfunction.” What’s worse is that, to an extent, he is right. American society is nigh hopelessly dependent on the way the government spreads money.”

I am not proposing anarchy, by any means, but I am all ears for how to reverse the government’s direction? At this point all I can say is, “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.” Will Rogers (1879-1935)

The Great American Reality (Discrimination)

If government could create jobs and raise children, socialism would have worked.
George Gilder

I hate the news. I hate the news more than soap-operas, and let me tell you that is a strong hatred. But nothing compares to my hatred of Mexican soap operas. Aye yay yay! In order to have a politically based blog, one might think that I watch CNBC, Fox News, CSPAN and all those other terrible shows. You couldn’t be further from the truth.

Every morning I read the Yahoo news headlines and may read an article if the headline peaks my curiosity. I average about 3 articles a day, but that is only because I am a sucker for headlines like “66 year old woman delivers a healthy baby” and any sort of drama in the NBA. Whether Yahoo is considered conservative or liberal or whatever is not as important as it is where I check my 10 year old email account. 10 years….crazy! Looking back, I never really cared about the news until I lived with my grandparents for a summer when I was 22 years old doing a firefighting gig. I found the news to be rather similar to my own blog-depressing, pessimistic and all-around had a negative aroma (Ah, but without the sarcasm). Republicans dissing democrats for this and hippies hating on the mainstream for that. In the news, everyone is considered as being wrong, unless they are the one speaking; which in that case, everything they say is nothing more than gospel truth. Every mainstream citizen has a favorite news channel because that is where they can get the “real truth.” Please note the picture below to comprehend my sentiments regarding that notion.


I have found that people in the news are no longer as concerned about finding the truth as figuring out how everyone with a different opinion is more wrong. I mean who cares about the truth if you can make everyone with a different opinion look like an idiot on public television? The act of publicly humiliating someone else has to be one of the greatest sensations ever felt. If Rush Limbaugh was addicted to painkillers and had his choice to decide between his love for painkillers or humiliating people on his show, I can promise you he would choose the show all day long. Whoops, maybe that was a bad example. Again my digression is superb; I am a veritable trigonometric tangent.

So I was checking out the yahoo news and saw that Mr. Prez has nominated three potential candidates for a seat on the Supreme Court. Keep in mind that, in my opinion, positions on the Supreme Court rival any presidential term and possibly could have greater long term affects than any single president. Kind of an important thing, if you were unaware. Here were his nominations:

Sonia Sotomayor: Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit
BIO: Age: 54. Graduate of Yale Law School. Worked as an assistant district attorney in New York and in private practice (1984-92). Appointed by George H.W. Bush in 1991 to federal district court in Southern District of New York. Nominated by President Bill Clinton for the Second Circuit.


Elena Kagan: Solicitor General, U.S. Justice Department
BIO: Age: 49. Graduate of Harvard Law School. Law clerk for former Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall. Former dean of Harvard Law School. Nominated by President Clinton for the D.C. Circuit, but her nomination was stalled in the Senate.




Diane Wood, Judge, U. S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit
BIO: Age: 58. Grew up in New Jersey and moved to Texas in high school when her father, an accountant, was transferred. Graduate of University of Texas and University of Texas Law School. Clerked for Justice Harry Blackmun. Appointed to the 7th Circuit by President Clinton in 1995. Has also worked in private practice and was a long-time professor at the University of Chicago Law School. Also held government positions at the State Department and the Justice Department.

Hhmmmm something is curious….very curious….what is it…….hhmmm…..they all have something in common…….hhhhhmmm…..oh wow, I can’t believe I didn’t notice at first-they all have brown hair.

Oh by the way, they are all women too. For such an important position as being one of eight of the highest judging positions in the land, I would hope that Mr. Prez did not simply conclude that the Supreme Court merely needed to fill a specific demographic. Surely he would never do such a thing. Surely he would not say, “we need more Hispanic women on the supreme court”, as opposed to, “I am going to recommend the most qualified person in the U.S. for this position.” Which leads me to my next topic…….


Discrimination


Sometimes you just have to take an ugly topic and speak the truth. In today’s society it is not kosher to speak the truth when it regards race, sex, or age. But what do I care??!! Being politically correct has nothing to do with the truth but everything to do with being sensitive to people who just want to make a continent out of a mole hill. Maybe it is just the white, middle class, Irishman within me that has never had to feel hated, prejudiced against, or otherwise made to feel uncomfortable. Wait a second….I live in New Mexico….I am a minority….. I have been the only one that speaks English in a Wal-Mart in the U.S. Therefore, I can say whatever I want so long as I consider myself a minority I can never possibly be politically incorrect. My parents have been very fond of sharing the following quote, so I thought I would make them proud.

"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Every race, sex and age has something which most people would rather do away with. Here are some examples

White people’s lament- Trailer living, white trash, can’t jump crackers otherwise known as the whites within the “south.”


Latino people’s moan – Chollo, homie dawg lowrider thugs otherwise known as latino’s within Hurley, NM.


Black people’s wail – Gangsta, grill wearin, mr. T gold chain, prison sentenced, big booty lovin loke dawgs otherwise known as blacks within any big city.


Native American people’s gripe – fire water drinking, complaining, change begging, res living injuns otherwise known as Indians within every small town near the four corners.


Asian people’s sob – Um, well, maybe lower than 140 I.Q. scoring individuals otherwise known as 3% of the Asian population. Really though, can anyone tell me what is wrong with Asians other than those weird metro Japanese ppl and cartoon porn, er I mean, anime?


Old people’s whimper – Social security enjoying, RV driving, bad tipping, bad breath, bad driving, 40 miles butt neked both ways, senior citizens otherwise known as 95% of people over the age of 70.


Middle age people’s bleat – 3rd marriage attempting, Harley Davidson owning, 401K complaining, diet fad, 2nd mortgage, mid life crises folks otherwise known as everyone between ages 39 and 67.3.


Young people’s groan – loud music listening, car racing, bad grades, misbehaving, potential Columbine, “weed and alcohol are so cool”, cussing kiddos otherwise known as anyone attending public school.


Female people’s grouse –athletically inferior, menstruation cycling, “have to be pretty, skinny, wear uncomfortable clothes and shoes”, menopause angry, “born to have kids and serve no other purpose”, girlies otherwise known as how all men think that all women are.


Male people’s jammer – hunting, fishing, grunting, horny, “work all day with no rest” complaining, beer drinkin, ball scratching, sport loving, porn watching pigs otherwise known as how all women think that all men are.





Every demographic has a stereotype which people are disposed to have preconceived notions regarding. If everyone has some sort of preconceived notion, does it make it ok? No, but it happens so get over it. That doesn’t mean you can throw any random stereotype in someone’s face as being their opinion just because they belong to a certain demographic.

I believe in the fair grading system. If you put forth an “A” effort, then you get an “A” grade. If you put forth a “C” effort, then you get a “C” grade. At some point, society began saying, “we don’t have enough ______________ (insert demographic) _____________ (insert present tense verb) ______________ (insert noun).” For example, “we don’t have enough _Chinese people_ playing _basketball_.” Suddenly, a special interest group within the U.S. screams “FOUL”, and society has to find and pay for as many Chinese people to play basketball as possible. Suddenly their “D” abilities are overlooked and they are rewarded “A”s until people have calmed down about the issue. It doesn’t matter if they are the worst basketball players ever, as long as they don’t feel “discriminated” against. At that point society has done their “ethical” part. What a disservice to the American People. Simple forgotten fact is - the only level playing field is one in which people deserve nothing and earn everything. The further we move from that theory the more we discriminate.



Everyone is unique! That is wonderful! Society should be grateful that individuals are better at certain things than other individuals. Somewhere along the way we adopted a socialistic mentality that it is forbidden to be unique. It is forbidden to be better or worse than the next person. If you don’t conveniently fit into one of the categories on a form then you are a nuisance. We must classify you. We must push you into that stereotype. We must mold you to be what you really are. Resistance is futile. Assimilate or be destroyed.


Level the playing field, no child left behind, reparations and spreading the wealth are terms that are casually mentioned within political circles these days. These terms are nothing more that phrases to discriminate against a group or individual. No longer do individuals get what they earn but are given what they “deserve”. Deserve is a word that should be entirely excluded from the English language because there is no perfect judge among us to determine what anyone deserves. How can I say what you personally deserve in life? I don’t know you, where you came from, what you have experienced, what you know, what you don’t know, what you feel, what you have seen, and on and on. If I can’t judge you, then who can? Answer: nobody. The only way to truly deserve something is to earn it.




I look at the bios of the three nominees for supreme court justice and obviously they have the qualifications necessary to be faintly considered, at the least. I have no intention of downplaying what these three women have accomplished in life, but yet I must ask the question – Are these the three most qualified people in the entire U.S. for this position or do they fulfill society’s need to fill yet another demographic?



Being part of a specific demographic provides nothing more than a unique perspective. A unique perspective does not wholly represent someone; it is just one feature, among many, that makes up the entire person. You wouldn’t buy a car for just one feature would you? Just because a Ford Pinto may have power windows does not make it an all around better car than a Ferrari Enzo. Sometimes I get the feeling that those dancing on the politically-correct-thin-ice try to force a Pinto on us when we should always expect a Ferrari.

"The Great American Expectation"

"The American, Politically-Correct, Non-Discriminating Power Windows Reality"

Stop leveling the playing field and let us celebrate the uniqueness that we collectively are. The “A” student deserves the “A” by earning it and for no other reason. If you play by any other rules then the “A” student will eventually say, “what’s the point, I just wish I were _____________ (insert demographic).”

But hey what do I know, I am just the guy who puts “European American” on my forms to let them try to figure out what the heck that means.

Food for thought

"His Rotundity", John Adams




We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other.
John Adams (1735 - 1826)


I can’t say it any better than that.

I Want My Money Back Foo!! (Credit Industry)

Creditors have better memories than debtors.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

Your attention please! Everyone, I know the government’s plan to completely turn around our economy is the plan we must follow! There is only one way that all the businesses in the U.S. can survive this terrible economic crisis! Let me help you on this path to recovery.
Step 1: Warm up your computer or find a nice black ball point pen.
Step 2: Find as many credit card applications as humanly possible whether online or rewarded to you through snail mail.
Step 3: Fill them all out. Fill them out for yourself, your spouse, any legal age children, any unsuspecting parent, friend or acquaintance.
Step 4: When the credit cards come in through the mail, use them. You must max them out as soon as possible! This is a dire emergency so you must act quickly! Be sure to buy anything from the American automotive industry, as they are about to tank first.

Thank you for fulfilling your patriotic duty. You have helped the livelihood of every remaining business owned by Chinese nationals -our only means of survival!

I absolutely cannot believe the crap that was rolling out of every economist’s mouth regarding our path to recovery. Within two consecutive sentences they would say something like, “This meltdown is occurring because of bad lending practices and unwise consumer spending. The only way we can fix this mess is if consumers wisely spend more money.” What??!! That is like saying, “the way to fix this problem is to continue on the path that got us here.”

Two-thirds of our economy is reliant upon consumer spending. How is that even possible?? No really, how is that even possible? Answer: Consumer debt.

Baby boom generation, Generation Jones, Generation X, MTV generation, Generation Y, Generation Z, these were terms used to describe generations by demographics. I would like to rename my generation the “Generation of Consumer Debt Defaulters.” For some unknown reason, people of my generation can have available to them tens of thousands of dollars and they feel ok about having that debt hanging over their heads. Not that they were planning on not paying that debt back……. but one day life happens and they are screwed. They learned this spending behavior from their parents. My grandparents were the last generation to have something known as a “savings account.” I know, I don’t know what that is either, but I hear it helps people somehow. If anyone knows where I can buy one of these “savings accounts” please let me know.

Fear not my friends for there is a Savior among us. He will save us from our stupidity because we cannot think for ourselves nor do we have the responsibility to think for ourselves. That’s our constitutional right!
The president has been pushing for increased credit-card industry accountability and more protection for consumers as the recession straps families. "It's time for strong and reliable protections for our consumers," Obama said. "It's time for reform that is built on transparency, accountability, and mutual responsibility -- values fundamental to the new foundation we seek to build for our economy."
Consumers also bear responsibility, Obama said, noting that too many have been "living beyond their means," thereby contributing to their own problems.
Mr. President continued saying,”How dare you, credit–card industry, for doing what you said you were going to do! Shame on you! Only you are to blame for the indiscretions of your clients. You only sent them 16 pages worth of explanation as required by the government that spelled this all out for your clients. What do you mean, that document is too long for any sane person to read? If they don’t read it, you are to blame for not being transparent, accountable or mutually responsible for your clients. ” Whoops he didn’t say that. Sounds like he has already figured out what generation he wants to buy votes from: mine.

Mark my words, this obama credit-card industry intervention coming down the pipeline will do nothing more than change the amount of paper the credit card companies already send to you and Mr. president wants to try and stop Credit Companies from making money off of people defaulting or ever change the interest rate for any reason. These changes will not occur. Why? Because the government doesn’t have the power to tell a business how it should be run unless it is illegal. The credit companies never did anything illegal in the first place. Credit companies have the right to make money off dumb people. What kind of rock do people live under that they were, “completely unaware that my APR would go from 9% to 89% compounded hourly because I forgot to pay my bill since 2005.”

A coworker often tells me, “don’t give anyone advice that didn’t ask for it. You will just piss them off.” If you read the next paragraph I want you to know it may sound like advice, therefore is rather offensive. I am the last guy to have figured out the secrets of the universe, but if you want some advice read on……
I want to let you all know that it is ok to live within your means! It is ok to have hand-me-down furniture and a used car! Everyone has fallen into the plague of “keeping up with the Jones’.” My father used to tell me something very wise. He said, “Money will never make you happy but the lack thereof can make you very unhappy.” Just because you graduated college 3 weeks ago, doesn’t mean you can afford to buy a house, new car, furniture and a complete new wardrobe. If you can afford to do that please tell me what you got your degree in so I can go back to school! As nice as that new house, new car, and new furniture feels, it will not feel so good when your introductory interest rate disappears and you have three pennies to rub together before you default on your loans.

You know what a real politician with a real backbone would do? (Such a politician will never exist because they are too mindful of walking on eggshells in order to get into a political office again.) A real politician would say, “People you screwed yourself on this one. There is no such thing as an easy buck or quick money. Time will prove that again and again. If you really want to dig yourself out of this mess figure out how to 1) live within your means and 2) produce a product that people want at a price that you and a buyer can live with. If we, the government, get in your way at doing either of those things then please burn our buildings to the ground because we are not serving our purpose.” Good luck finding that politician.
I just hope I get another “tax rebate” of $600 per dependent. That scheme really pulled us out of a pickle, didn’t it??!! Yeah right. Thankfully this year Mr. President has your back, he promised $14 per paycheck to be given back to you for an entire year. Awesome!! Bailouts, rebates, incentive programs, paybacks-these are made up words/programs to put band-aids on a problem that politicians refuse to fix so they pass it on to the next generation. Why fix a difficult problem when you can just print more funny money? I will take my paycheck in Yen please.

Got the runs?? (Retirement)

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
Malcolm S. Forbes

You know it seemed like nobody in any position of life, 3rd grade to senior citizen, could finish a statement without ending or beginning the statement with something to the effect, “during this economic downturn.” Surely if any statement had a negative connotation, then it had to be preceded or concluded with a line about our economic hardships. For example, “Man, I have had diarrhea for like two weeks, it’s because of the economic decline, I guess.” I am glad the media has finally tired of the topic; they just about have everyone convinced that we are leveling off now. I am willing to bet the media is shutting up about “economic hardships” because some Gallup Poll indicated that the average American would change the channel in 0.7 milliseconds if they heard any sort of phrase regarding the topic. Here is a guaranteed truth for you - the media will do ANYTHING for attention and will likewise do ANYTHING to keep your attention. Just look at the ads of today. You can’t go two segments of commercials without seeing the following ads.
1. Some sort of miracle drug which will help you lose weight or make your penis 15 feet long which will generally lead to nausea, drowsiness, dizziness, anxiety, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, weakness, tiredness, sweating, yawning, unusual or severe mental/mood changes ( such as agitation, unusual high energy/excitement, thoughts of suicide), uncontrolled movements of the lips/tongue, shakiness , restlessness, inability to keep still, decreased interest in sex, changes in sexual ability, blurred vision, numbness/tingling and death.
2. Delicious beer on top of an ice cold mountain. Said beer now has a safety mechanism built in to the cap or wrapper which will tell you if it has been contaminated with the swine flu for your drinking pleasure.
3. Car commercial in which the driver is manipulating the vehicle only the way people drive rental cars. But don’t worry, in case you lose your job because you went to jail for driving your car like a rental car, the auto manufacturer will now make your payments for you……which you will have to pay 3 times over in the long run. For your convenience that little clause is in the fine print.
4. A gecko with an Australian accent trying to make some kind of point about insurance. Unfortunately, that point is never understood by the intended audience. Ever.
From these advertisements, which are reflections upon today’s societal needs, I can derive a couple of things. Most people that have money need drugs, beer, and a new car with insurance. Although younger generations would like those things, they can’t afford it, so it is not a stretch of the imagination that most advertising is for people over 30. Most of the working population could easily be comprised of people over the age of 30. Here is a little known fact; drugs, beer and a new car do little more in life than help you get distracted from something. The media wants to distract you from this depressing notion because it sucks sooo bad! Here is what they are all trying to distract you from- You can never retire!

Disclaimer #1 for today’s blog- I am not an economist, statistician, historian or have any other kind of training in making stuff up.

When, in the history of mankind, has the concept of retirement existed? Retirement, as we see it today, has never ever existed except within the last 100 years. 100 years ago, retirement meant a couple of different things about someone:
1. This person is so physically/mentally challenged that he/she can no longer fulfill previous working duties.
2. This person is so wealthy he/she no longer has to do any kind of mental or physical labor. He/she finally just called it quits.
3. This person hated work so much he/she was even willing to live with his/her kids again.
4. This person hated work so much that he/she is willing to nearly starve until death.

This is why people used to have so many kids!! Not because they didn’t have birth control, because they wanted to retire!

Only within the last 100 years have we had such an abundance of wealth that people can work towards building up their stool. Not poop, a three-legged retirement stool. See for the last 60 years we have been told to work towards building up 1) social security contributions, 2) employer retirement benefits programs, and 3) personal savings and investment. Like any three legged stool if you take away any of the three legs, it is a difficult task to keep balanced atop the stool.

Social Security
This is the biggest sham of them all. Keep in mind that you can opt to decline to make contributions to social security resulting in no future receipt of social security funds. Like most stupid people, I guess I like donating to charity or gambling because that is what my social security contributions are good for. The initial intention for social security (The New Deal, 1935) is that the government can take that money you give them, invest it in our economy today and since we are such a rockstar country, we can turn an interest greater than typical cost of living interest and pay you off with interest for the future. Reality is that as fast as we can dump money into social security, it is being used by the inheritors of today. There is no investment, the money goes straight from our pocket to someone’s mouth. Many say the baby boomer generation gave great hope for social security because they invested so much into social security; unfortunately, no economist was smart enough to look to the day when they would retire. Simple fact is: we have too many people retiring at too young of an age for today’s contributors to rebalance the spending equation. Money is going out faster than it is coming in. Year 2018 is the current prediction for social security’s day of reckoning. I am sure the government’s response after that point will be the same response during most economic crises. “Print more money and keep it quiet!”

Employer Retirement Benefits Programs
This was a successful program within the U.S. when we could compete with global manufacturing. Circa 1970, that status changed. Since about 1970 every company has been trying to figure out the same thing; how do we maintain these rates of profitability and vie with our competitors for creating a product people will buy? Most manufacturing and resource producing companies got smart and said, “Why would I pay an American $15 per hour plus benefits to cut down a tree when I can pay an Indonesian $0.50 per hour to cut a tree of similar characteristics and ship it to the U.S. for $0.23 per pound?” Few manufacturing companies survived that crunch within the U.S. It was a smart move for business owners here in the U.S. at the time to outsource. Our dollar was the strongest currency around, the business owners could manage from the U.S. and still sell the product within the U.S. and make a killing. Profits were never better. The few remaining companies of the U.S. were either extreme high technology manufacturers that can’t be operated in 3rd world countries or service oriented companies that can’t be outsourced. For the companies that remained here, they couldn’t outsource their labor so they were forced to cut costs somewhere else. The first item on the chopping block was your retirement benefits. The first wake of no retirement benefits caused people to change jobs to ensure retirement benefits. Soon all companies had written off their retirement programs so if people wanted a job they had no choice but to just work some place with no benefits. Today the only entities that still provide retirement benefits are about 0.000008% of companies and the government. You don’t even have a chance at keeping this leg unless you’re a G-man.

Personal Savings and Investments
Social security was the sham, retirement benefits are an unattainable quest, and personal savings and investments are the biggest rip-off your anus will ever feel. Please do not be confused that 401K’s,IRA’s, stocks, bonds, annuities, fixed income investments, or savings sponsored by your company are retirement benefits programs, they are like savings accounts nothing more nothing less. Many good people I know work within this industry, so I am sorry to let people know the truth. When I think of wealthy people, this image of scrooge comes to mind in which he has attained this mass of money and is able to lend it, invest it, swim in it, save it, and do all of these “money things” and POOF…… one hundred dollars turns into one thousand dollars. Most people could be described as “challenged economists” at best. Compound interest, simple interest, inflation composite versus commodity indexes, deflation, depreciation recapture , appreciation subperiod, continuous uniform cash flow, net profit ratio accounting, finite amortization schedule, incremental cost/benefit ratio. Learn these terms very well, for these will be the terms that your investors will use to help you understand where all those nickels and dimes you gave them went. They have developed a system of confusion to help themselves make pretty spreadsheets that simply confuse the layman. It just means they can screw you in more dynamic ways. Companies came up with 401K’s to make more money and keep people around that wanted some hope for retirement. Essentially companies take some money from you and, on paper, match a certain amount and give that money right back to themselves. If you work for the right company and have the opportunity to cash in on the high tide, you do very well. For the rest of you with 401K’s you will find yourself needing to cash in at a low tide or during an extremely low tide. It is convenient that it is never convenient, financially speaking, to retire. The system has to keep it that way. The same thing goes for all IRA’s, stocks, bonds, annuities, fixed income investments, or savings sponsored by your company. I will use the classic 30 year loan as my example for how poorly run the finance industry is. Let’s say I want to buy a house for $150,000. I get a 30 year loan at 6%, pretty good eh? That means I will pay right at $900 per month for the next thirty years (neglecting the tax man’s portion of course). I will end up paying out $323,759 when it is all said and done. Even when you consider the fact that an average yearly inflation of 3% is going to occur, banks will still make a TON of money. Where does all that money go? I don’t know. I can figure only two things: 1) banks have staff meetings in which they simply flush money down the toilet and feel very smug about doing it, or 2) banks don’t know how to manage money and are just paying themselves now and have nothing to invest for the future. I am going with the latter of those two. In fact, all investment schemes are the same way today. They promise you 5% to 13% guaranteed by their skewed charts and misinterpreted statistics. We fall for it because hey, this is their job it’s not like I just give them $10 and they will put it in their back pocket without any further consideration. No, they lose their “profits” in other magical and “unpredictable economic downturn” ways, but in the end they might as well have stolen it from you. Mismanagement. Their industry is living on borrowed dollars just like every other U.S. industry. The truly sad thing is we just have the faith that things will get better, so we keep investing and keep giving them our money when we probably are better off just opening a simple saving account or putting it under our mattress. It is statistically proven that every 11-18 years we will experience an “economic downturn.” This is the time where these investing entities liquidate on paper what they already spent a long time ago. “Oh I am sorry Mr. Smith, this was a bad _________________( choose one: year, decade, lifetime) to invest, we thank you for your business and understand why you will be transferring your funds to __________________ (choose one: Edward Jones, Bear Stearns, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, etc.). I am sure they will do the same to you as we have done to you, good luck!”

So, I hope you still have all three legs on your stool just like me. Yeah right! Do the smart thing. Save up about 6 months of livable savings and set it aside forever, after that point live it up like you are going to die tomorrow- at least you will enjoy where your money went to instead of funding a terribly unhealthy retirement existence. When it comes time to retire and you have no retirement built up, buy the fastest motorcycle commercially available and give me a call. We can go cruising together on some cliff-riddled, mountainous roads together. Can you just feel the wind just whipping through your non-existent hair?

Animal lovers.....beware!!! (Government Intervention)

A little rebellion now and then...is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826), Letter to James Madison, 1787

All this talk about religious extremism makes me feel like joining a Montana militia or getting a bunch of people together to drink some "koolaid". Relax, it is statistically proven that my predictions have only a 0.000001% to 99.9999% chance of ever happening. I bet we can all agree which end of that statistic will come true. LOL!

Ah but I digress from the point of this blog, so we are going to get back to the problem at hand: Today’s political woes.

One of today’s primary concerns- When monkies attack!!

So a couple of months ago some lady in Connecticut was attacked by a chimpanzee. It was a particularly slow week in the media, thus this story was the best frenzy they could come up with. Like 48 hours later, congress started working on a bill to ban interstate monkey sales. The House floor actually spent our taxable time to debate whether or not monkeys could be bought by joe blow citizens. As it turns out this was a bill that had previously been swept under the rug, but this catastrophic monkey attack was all the excitement that was needed to bring it right back to the forefront of our nation’s greatest needs!

Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.) said the chimp attack, in which a woman suffered massive injuries after a friend's pet attacked her, put "renewed urgency" behind the bill, which the chamber passed last session but the Senate didn't touch. Del. Madeleine Bordallo (D-Guam) called it "very timely legislation."

Thank you Representative Blumenauer and Delegate Bordallo, you guys truly understand the importance of making sure that this singular monkey attack will be the only civilian monkey attack in recorded history. Now we just need to pass a bill outlawing monkeys from flinging poo at people in the zoo.

But here is the main point- Where is the line which separates necessary government intervention and unnecessary intervention? I have acknowledged the fact that most of my recommended political changes will never happen, so today I am going to make a recommendation that I know politicians, of all walks of life, will love. They will love it because it means organizing yet another overseeing committee. Politicians love committees as much as they love pork. They love hearing of committees, they love being on committees, they love knowing that some special interest was important enough that somebody deemed an entire committee should be formed to regulate that special interest. This committee gives politicians what they love more than anything in life……a super human special power. I am not talking about x-ray vision or super strength; Bob Dole showed us that was impossible. No, this super human power is the ability to make a decision and people have to uphold that decision. Because after all, politicians are the people that weren’t smart enough to make it to the Supreme Court, being a politician is the next best thing. But I digress.

This special overseeing committee will make sure that any bill that is presented to congress passes through this new committee first. The committee has no other purpose than to filter out crappy legislation. If the committee decides a bill or measure is worth the taxpayer’s time then it gets pushed to the next level. If the committee can’t possibly figure out how this will be for the good of the people or will only affect 0.000084% of Americans then the bill stops right there. We don’t need more laws governing frivolous things. In fact, we could really streamline bad bills from happening if we attached a punishment on people who put forth the bad bill. I think the punishment should be a one month revocation of all political duties and affairs. During that time, they will work 40 hours a week at a fast food restaurant to get back in touch with real people and real events. Ah it sounds like music to my ears, “Welcome to Arby’s, this is Governor Bill Richardson, how may I take your order?”

I'm gonna get all jihad on you..... right here....right now (Freedom and Marital Rights Part 2)

Don't read this post unless you read the previous post. You won't understand the flow!

Jihad. Many people, myself included, thought that “jihad” was the muslim word for holy war. Tis not so my friends, Jihad actually means "struggle in the way of God" or "to struggle to improve one's self and/or society."

No human action will make a parent pick up a weapon faster than someone who is willingly hurting their child. If the parent himself is repeatedly hurt, that parent will inevitably pick up a weapon to defend himself. Some blokes are faster than others at defending after taking a few good punches to the head. The point is, nothing will start a war faster than when one group of people inflicts physical harm on another group. Physical harm can occur as a result of mental or physical abuse, changes in quantities of food, changes in shelter, and don’t forget the all important changes in WEALTH. Since most world history, regarding war, is rather boring, I would like to provide the cliffs notes version of why most wars occur:

Group A attempts to take Item 1 through ∞ from Group B. Group B resists. Conflict ensues.

Geez I should go get a history degree, I should ace almost every test. Ah but the key word-“ almost.”

I wrote about how gay marriage will be the key topic which “will inevitably become the most heated and intense political debate of my lifetime.” I even went as far as to say a political upheaval may be the final result. Crazy Talk!! How can a couple of people wanting to use their wedding tackle in unconventional ways cause a meltdown of our society? Read on…..
Once it has become a constitutional amendment to uphold gay marriage something very interesting will occur within various churches. Some churches may say, “sure we will perform gay marriage ceremonies, no problem.” Some may say, “well if this is what the people want, I guess we will do it.” And finally some churches will say, “This is the one thing I won’t take up the butt. No way will I perform gay marriages.” Don’t churches have the right to make that choice? Sure they do, but according to the constitution with the new gay marriage amendment, not without some repercussions. Repercussions…. you ask?

Let’s say I am the minister of “The 14th Day Orthodox Synagogue of B.S.” church. Let’s say one day a gay couple steps up from my faithful fold of followers and says, “we want to be married.” Let’s say I refuse to perform it because the 17th chapter, 69th verse from the book of Jehosphat says, “thou shalt not sustain gay marriage.” As a representative of a non-profit religious institution I just discriminated against a gay couple based on nothing more than they are gay. That is unconstitutional. Fines may be incurred. But I will be guaranteed to be stripped of my “non-profit religious institution” status. This may not occur at the first instance of refusal, but eventually the almighty Supreme Court shall once again decide this is an act of discrimination. No more tax free, non-profit church status for me. All those tithes and offerings and money I am stealing under the table are now taxable. Two words for what will happen next……..

HOLY WAR – The kind of war that needs no form of logic to occur. Go to Wikipedia and look up Holy War or religious war. You will soon learn that this form of war has transcended every form of religion on every continent. I was informed by my good buddy Vman that, “it has been my observation that the decline of most recorded civilizations were due to power struggles over control of resources. When quality of life is degraded for a group, war soon follows.” You are absolutely right except Holy War needs no resources, no money, no food, no water, no shelter to explode in your face. All it needs is a disagreement and BLAM….. the middle east!

Gay marriage will cause the first true Holy War of the United States of America. Religious extremists will be pitted against homo-lovers. Soon thereafter, conservative religions as a whole will be attacked as a closed-minded, unproductive, violence incurring, and discriminatory fascists. Once religion as a whole is attacked, quite literally, all hell will break loose. Because let’s be honest, 92.3% of homosexual opposition is because of a religious perspective. The remaining 7.7% just think it is gross. This is who will control the ranks of this war-religious zealots vs. anti-religious zealots.

Did you know that the Muslims and Jews fought together against the Christians during the Crusades? I can’t think of a religious group that hates each other more than the Jews and the Muslims. Holy War causes strange things to happen, all in the name of God. So which side of the “struggle in the way of God” will you be on? Jihadians unite!

Man as I proofread this, I can’t help but think this sounds mighty apocalyptic. Once again this is my own personal foolish fortune telling and in no way represents anything I have ever heard from any other source. I am no prophet….right comrades??!!lol

The Storm is Coming.... (Freedom and Marital Rights Part 1)

Let me begin by stating that I believe that the Declaration of Independence is one of the most powerful documents ever conceived. As I read it, I can’t help but feel an appreciation for the intelligent men and their good wives that assembled to so eloquently pour their innermost hopes and desires for a government into a single document.

What I am about to discuss is a topic which will inevitably become the most heated and intense political debate of my lifetime. The end result of this debate may be so severe as to divide the country apart and to cause the people to “throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security”; one which conforms to their beliefs. The primary reason for such an intense debate is the subject of freedom. It boils down to the interpretation of freedom declared to be “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” For history’s sake let’s read the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence to more clearly understand the reason governments are established and overthrown.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

What one person might feel is a freedom of choice or action, another person might completely disagree with that opinion. The subject I am about to delve into regarding freedom is held closer to U.S. citizens heartstrings than we truly perceive at the moment. This subject is like a perfect storm of two massive, immovable opinions that have no choice but to pound against each other until one side relents or is destroyed. Resistance is futile. What I am talking about is THE EL NIŃO of all EL NIŃOS……..ONE HUGE BIG GAY STORM. Oh you will try to avoid it- just like we have for hundreds of years but every great civilization always has to confront this beast and make a stand. That day has come.

Let me see if I can be of assistance. I think we can all be sorted under 3 classifications regarding the Big Gay Storm.
1. Vehemently oppose gay marriage.
2. Vociferously support gay marriage.
3. Vaguely could care less about gay marriage, neither for nor against, as the topic is either unimportant, insignificant or does not affect your life as of yet…..or so you think!!!
4. V for Vendetta truly was a terrible movie.

Most people will agree with classification #4 and one other classification. Where do you stand? Classification #3 is for people who are naïve, young, or without a backbone. These people will be the first to be destroyed by the Big Huge Gay Storm, for everyone must take a real side as we will soon find out. There will be no middle ground when the dust has settled.

Earlier I stated that debate is centered on the concept of freedom but the first paragraph of the Declaration of Independence cites why this debate of freedom even exists. Let us read,
“When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.”

The freedoms we are talking about have been stipulated by the “the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God.” So what are the laws of nature and nature’s God? Ah, that my friend is subject to individual interpretation. I can’t shove my opinion down your throat anymore than you can shove your opinion down my throat lest we encroach upon one another’s freedoms.
I am going to simply judge classification #1 and #2 then attempt to understand from my perspective why they believe the way they do. Some or all points may apply to a person within each classification.

Classification #1 - AKA Gay-Hater Beliefs
1. Homosexuality is inherently wrong.
2. Marriage should only be between a man and a woman.
3. Gay marriage defies the laws of nature.
4. Gay marriage defies the laws of nature’s God.
5. Gay marriage imposes on hetero's freedom.

Classification #2 – AKA Homo-Lover Beliefs
1. Nothing is wrong with homosexuality.
2. Anyone should have the right to marry if they want.
3. Gay marriage does not defy the laws of nature.
4. Gay marriage does not defy the laws of nature’s God.
5. Gay marriage does not impose on anyone’s freedoms.

Instead of break down every one of these points for interpretation I am just going to tell you exactly how this whole problem with the Big Huge Gay Storm is going to play out. Classification #2 will be deemed the winners by the Supreme Court and a new amendment will be added to the Constitution declaring something to the effect anyone can get married and there will be no distinguishing difference, on paper, between a homo and hetero marriage. The Supreme Court basically has to push for an amendment or else it will bounce between the state and the feds forever, just like right now. According to the Constitution and Declaration of Independence someone’s gay marriage should never really affect my “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” just as a hetero marriage shouldn’t either. Based solely on the principle of freedom, gay marriage is just as warranted as hetero marriage. Yep, I said it.

Ok well that was pretty easy, within a couple hundred words I figured out exactly what the government is going to do about this problem……but I never discussed what will truly cause the cataclysmic collision of two parts of society. It boils down to this: Pro homo rights groups want gay marriage legalized for 3 reasons.

1. 
   They want everyone to agree with them that being gay is ok.
2. 
   They want rights to make claims, through marriage, for healthcare purposes.
3. 
   They want rights to make claims, through marriage, for the transfer of wealth such as taxes, inheritances, and other money grubbing and form filling reasons.

Reason #1 will be the cause of the Huge Big Gay Storm. Gay rights groups want to essentially make it constitutionally ok to be gay- for the government and everyone it governs to say, “being gay is ok.” Gay people would like everyone to think that their gay marriage will not affect your life or your freedoms but that is where they pervert the truth.

If I uphold gay marriage and make it constitutionally acceptable then I have gone against my “moral code.” Morally speaking that is like telling my kids that I uphold gay marriage because gays should have the freedoms they want irrespective of the fact that I think it is wrong for some reason. That is why it is so contestable, everyone should have the same freedoms but that doesn’t mean that morally speaking those freedoms are agreeable. Man is it going to get ugly. Everyone has their own “moral code.” You just don’t tell people to change their inherent moral code or force them to change their moral code without riots, guns, murders, tanks, and sometimes political upheavals.

Now let it be noted that the society's interpretation and agreement of moral codes is THE primary reason that most governments are dissembled or newly formed. Please re-read that sentence and let it sink in.

Now everyone is going to read the next part and think I have completely lost my mind. As crazy as it sounds, if the U.S. lasts long enough to make it through all the phases, this is how the future will play out.

Pro-Homo Mind Melt Phase #1-Well, if you don’t agree with gay marriage that’s fine. You can think that. That’s ok! Just give us our constitutionally guaranteed rights and you can think whatever you want.
Pro-Homo Mind Melt Phase #2- See that’s not so bad. Gays aren’t that bad. We are just fine. Love us too!
Pro-Homo Mind Melt Phase #3 – What do you have against gays? You know it is unconstitutional to have any negative sentiments towards gays.
Pro-Homo Mind Melt Phase #4 – So you are a gay hater, huh? Since that is unconstitutional you will now go to prison until you agree with that sentiment.

Look at the history of the civil rights within the U.S. and it is not a stretch of the imagination to think things can get this bad. But it’s ok. History also teaches us something else. I came up with this theory on my own so don’t blame any televangelist for my doctrines.

Jonathan Mullen’s great theory of “The Gay Rise Before the Fall”: Every great society in the written history of mankind has openly accepted homosexuality. It happened just before every great society fell. Whether they were defeated from the outside or within, they all fell shortly after their society accepted homosexuality. Whether it became a government mandate of acceptance or culturally acceptable it doesn’t matter, they all fell. Rome, France, England, Babylon, Maya, Mesopotamia, Sodom and Gomorrah. Oh great history professors please prove me wrong because I haven’t found proof otherwise as of yet.

The great question is, how many Pro-Homo Mind Melt Phases will the collective society pass through until a group stands up and says, “No more! I won’t put up with this anymore! This society and this government do not agree with my mind nor my heart! I want out!” During Pro-Homo Mind Melt Phase #1 Utah and Texas won’t even last 6 months. Watch and see. Who knows how long the rest of the states or union will last?

Do I hate gay people? No, not at all. Do I understand them? No, not at all. Do I agree with homosexuality? No, not at all. Am willing to bet that my mentality is still the vast majority in the U.S. today? Yes, absolutely. That is what is slowing the storm more than anything else.


There it is. If I am wrong on any account please let me know. Let time be the judge of how right or wrong I am.

Next up: God and the government, separation of what??

The Audacity of Hope

Ok this is the most retarded name for a book I have ever heard of. It needs to be renamed, “A Black Man’s Triumph Against All White Opposition.” Ok, Ok….you’re right……. I haven’t even read the book. All of you people are a bunch of idiots if Senior Obama’s two books were written because he wanted to help people change or document his life history. That may be the number two reason for writing this book but not number one. Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce the real reason these books were written ……Drumroll Please……Introducing the Obama Family 2008 Tax Statement:
Total income: $4,238,165
Adjusted gross income: $4,139,965
Salaried income: $260,735
Net profit from books: $3,943,378
Federal taxes paid: $1,396,772
Total charitable contributions for 2007: $240,370

Since when did a senator make four million dollars, even including the lobbying handouts? Oh that’s right, the answer is never. But if you write a couple of well timed books you can pull that kind of hard cash. What a genius. I wish I could be the first white middle class guy in America to accomplish something never been done by my kind before and then write a book about it. Ah but alas too many European mutts have beat me to anything I can possibly ever accomplish in this country. Do I condemn Obama for his books or the fact that he is rolling in greenbacks? Oh heck no, what a genius! Am I jealous? Oh heck yes! You can keep the cash, but give me my dream motorcycle, dream car, new mountain bike every 2 years, paid off house, and a sweet wakeboarding boat and I will write a fictional book on anything you want. Maybe I could write a book about being the first white Irishman to become a black man. Oh wait…dang you Eminem!!
Alright folks….even though you didn’t even know it, the next article is going to give you exactly what you really came here for – My opinion of gay marriage. I hope NAMBLA doesn’t shut down my blog.

I is going to fix social epidemics....and you cans too! (6 of Society's Ails)

"Anytime the government gives something to us, they first have to take something from us."- crazy Huckabee (He forgot he was running for a government position)

"A capitalistic society is only successful when people have a good work ethic." Jonathan Mullen, World Reknown Idiot

Before you read this and in the back of your mind try to classify me and my perspective, I am going to help you. I am a republican to the core but I have never voted on any republican even once. The ideals of the Republican Party are great, but I don’t know if such ideals were ever put into practice. Therefore, I am a 28 year old conservative idealist that looks at our bipartisan system like they are a bunch of hogwash, pork-barreling crips and bloods.

Here is some more information to help you classify me. I live in New Mexico. New Mexico is ranked as the 7th poorest state in the U.S. We rank #2 for teen birth rate! Pretty sweet. It has some major problems, but somehow, I love this place. My wife is a labor/delivery nurse and my dad is a pharmacist. They both live in New Mexico. They say that 90% of the people they deal with day in and day out are on some sort of government support for the medical attention they are receiving. My dad says that he has noticed that government assistance is a generational concept. He sees the grandparents get the aid, then the parents, then the kids, and now the grandkids. People are raising their kids with the understanding that it is ok in life to stand with your hand out waiting for help and that there will always be someone there to fill it. I repeat, they say that 90% of the people they deal with day in and day out are on some sort of government support for the medical attention they are receiving. Does that sound like a system that can support itself?


As was previously promised, I would add some info, albeit pessimistic, on various government systems of which I have developed a strong opinion.

Welfare

Welfare of yesterday…..

………Welfare of today

Problem: Most people almost took a dump in their pants when they found out the 2009 bailout package for corporate welfare was going to be about 900 billion dollars. But we pay in excess of 680 billion every year for the administration of federal assistance in the U.S. and no one even flinches a muscle. 23% of our nation’s budget is dedicated to Medicare and Medicaid. That number has nothing to do with the 21% going to social security. Living near White Sands Missile Range, I see everyday how much the “defense” infrastructure helps our developing community with employment, projects, community support and research expansion. Yet only 21% of our budget goes towards “defense.” The biggest piece of the pie is federal assistance, and I ask the question what are we getting from it? Is this a system that is getting better the more money we dump into it?

Answer: My brother wrote a comment to me that suggested that we the “American People” have become so entirely dependent upon government aid in all of its forms that it is basically impossible to ever pull the plug on this system without some serious repercussions. I whole-heartedly agree with that sentiment. Real change is difficult; I am not talking about obama change, I am talking about the real thing. If real change is done for the right reasons, no matter how difficult, the end result is almost always worth it. That I know. Pull the plug. Ensure care for the mentally and physically infirm and, of course, children. That’s it. By the way that fat lady in the picture above would not be considered physically infirm but the people sitting next to her on an airplane may need government assistance.

Unions
Problem: It is sad that we point the finger at General Motors management for being on the brink of collapse. Here is an interesting fact for you: The current veteran UAW member at GM today has an average base wage of $28.12 an hour, but the cost of benefits, including pension and future retiree health care costs, nearly triples the cost to GM to $78.21, according to the Center for Automotive Research. Wow, it costs GM $78 bucks to have a guy with maybe a high school education to turn a wrench. Now keep in mind that GM doesn’t want to pay that kind of wage but that is what the price of today’s unions are. An average Chinese wage is $0.57 per hour -- or $104 per month – which is about 3 percent of the average U.S. manufacturing worker's wage. Unions know how to price themselves out of work faster than anyone. I am actually amazed that the U.S. manufacturers in the last 50 years of “union rule” can compete on a global scale at all.

Answer: We have 6 times the amount of plaintiffs’ attorneys as ANY other country in the world. Trust me, if there is any wrong-doing towards anyone of any kind we have more than enough qualified (and unqualified) workforce to handle the problem. Unions were established to regulate fair pay, institute worker’s rights, ensure a safe workplace, and control managerial abuse. Current unions are nothing more than a self-serving mob. Ow that was pretty harsh but I liked it.

Prison

Prison of yesterday…..

……Prison of today

Problem: In 2001 the average state or federal inmate was costing society $22,640 per year or $62.03 per day. One out of 100 people in the US are in jail and 11% of those people are not even U.S. citizens! We spend 22 thousand dollars to put up with somebody who is most likely never going to become rehabilitated. The average household income is just over 50 thousand dollars. Now I want you to envision me using the voice of a television sales person; “Just think, for just half the cost of one quality American family we can imprison somebody who has roughly a 48% to 77% (based on demographics) chance of going right back to prison as soon as they get out. Awesome! What a value!”

Answer: England was the smartest country ever when it came to their prison system. The solution for people that didn’t want to live by the rules, England was kind enough to buy them a one way ticket halfway around the world for some exotic scenery. Then the inmates were compassionately informed that they could never return to England. Not a bad idea! I would be willing to donate Hawaii for a good cause. Then have sharks with frickin laser beams to patrol the perimeter of the islands. Murderers get Oahu. Rapists get Maui. You get the idea. You can’t complain about living in Hawaii. If you refuse to live by the rules then why should we spend the time and effort to try and fix you? Go fix yourself in a tropical paradise….with sharks…..and laser beams.





Baseball

Baseball of yesterday……

…..Baseball of today

Problem: You know I have been trying really hard to find out how much money our government has spent on looking into the recent epidemics of baseball. I can’t. I do remember Jon Stewart saying something to the effect the congress spent like 50 times more time on looking into steroids within baseball as they did establishing how much money would be used on the 2009 bailout. Hhhhmmmm good priorities. Who cares?? Isn’t the MLB organization established to regulate things like this? Why is congress even getting involved? How is their investigation for the good of American citizens? To make sure a couple baseball records are only broken by non-steroid using players?? Really? Really? Congratulations congress, you have truly shown your value on this one.
Answer: Kill anyone in congress that thought this problem was important to the American people. Anyone suffering from such a mental illness is clearly beyond rehabilitation; therefore, they must be put down.

Healthcare
Problem: There have been a couple of things in times past which were controlled by a private industry until the government seized control of them. Some examples of this are the education system, charity AKA welfare, MLB, banking sector, home mortgage control, FDA, on and on and on. All of those government controlled programs are so complex that I really can’t comment on them in one statement. But I can say this much, anytime the government has seized control of a system it has functioned but not very well. The common characteristics of the downside of government intervention are prolific waste, meetings of newly created overseeing committees, money and lots of it, and a lot more than I am willing to think up.

Answer: I am convinced that the only instances in which the government needs to intervene on a system are when something unlawful is happening that the current privatized system will not mitigate. I have seen nothing in history to tell me that governmentally provided healthcare will be an improvement upon our current system. It will just be another handout and more waste. Today, many people only work because they need healthcare; therefore, they work. Give them free healthcare and I can promise you an apathetic result.


Illegal Immigration

Some illegals immigrants……

……Another kind of illegal migration

Problem: I actually think illegal immigration is great. When else can you convince someone to work in the continental U.S. for approximately one dollar per hour? We need people that are willing to do the tasks that we think we are above. Examples, chili picking, painting, digging a hole, house cleaning, cutting the grass, sorting the gravel from pinto beans, etc. Ok now I am sounding racist. The downside of illegal immigration is the near daily event my wife gets exposed to where a girl comes to an American hospital to deliver a child. She came across the border about 3 hours ago. The delivery has complications and requires surgeries or something of that nature. The kid gets its American citizenship and we get the $52,000 bill. Thank you very much, come again ding ding. It is supposedly unethical for a U.S. hospital to deny medical attention regardless of the fact that this girl knowingly came into our country to abuse our healthcare system. That bugs me. 17% of California prisons are comprised of people that are considered illegals. Each year, state governments spend an estimated $11 billion to $22 billion to provide welfare to immigrants. The simple economic problem is, which is quite debatable, do illegal immigrants give more than they take or vice-versa? The number of latino voters in the U.S. nearly doubled from 5.9 million in 2000 to more than 10 million last year. More than 75% of new immigrants voted for obama. With overwhelmingly convincing numbers like that I can promise you the Democratic Party will do everything in their power to guarantee more government aid for illegal immigrants. That is almost as sure as buying a vote.

Answer: I am all about people trying to make a better life for themselves. I think that illegals that come here to work are mostly good people trying to help their families in the best way they can. My only reservation about illegal immigration or legal immigration is this: you should never get more out of the system than you put in. In 1996 we reformed the welfare system to make sure people were not getting more out of the system than they put in. That system renovation failed as it was overrun with even greater need as time went on. The real reason that immigrants need so much government aid is this: immigrants are eleven percent of our population, but they are 20 percent of the poor population. Don’t ask a poor person to come to the U.S. unless you plan on helping them out, simple as that. The simple economic problem is, which is quite debatable, do illegal immigrants give more than they take or vice-versa? Of all of the problems I just discussed here, this is the one I don’t have a real answer for. I don’t know.

Summary

Who am I to judge society? I don’t know what they are dealing with every day. In fact, I am willing to bet that my life is very cushy in comparison to most. I eat, I work, I play, I sleep. Repeat. Yet, I get the sense that people think they deserve something just because of where they were born, what color their skin is, the social structure they have been exposed to, whether or not their daddy spanked them, etc. Therefore, they see their life cycle as…I eat, I play, I sleep, I’m a freakin American so you owe me some money! Repeat.

My Plan for Ending US Political Corruption (6 Keys to Success)

My Plan for Ending US Political Corruption

“Don’t worry we’re from the government and we’re here to help!” What a sad political irony in today’s world. I remember growing up thinking that people in political power were chosen by the people because of their awe inspiring love for their nation and genuine desire to help the American people. Now I think they are chosen because we really didn’t have any other choice. Even though politician’s ad campaigns and clever slogans would imply their honest interest in the good of the people, I have yet to get that warm fuzzy feeling that they are making any attempt to fulfill that. The truth is, I question the real intent or reason that politicians do anything anymore. I feel like a conspiracy theorist, but all I want is to have the blind faith that politicians/government entities really exist for the common good. There is no way to smoothly resolve this problem. Sometimes the system just needs a reboot. A new rulebook. As a pious ;-) American citizen, having no desire for political power, here are my recommendations for a quick fix. Good luck convincing the active congress or the senate to pass these measures.

1. Eliminate the bipartisan system. There will be NO parties at all. You can call him conservative or her liberal but it will mean nothing more than that. Politicians will stand up for what they think is right not because their party is pressuring them in one direction or the other.
2. Lobbying to politicians will be illegal in any form. Every politician’s decision will be motivated by his/her personal knowledge of a matter or his/her own ideals of justice, morality, right/wrong, etc. Be careful who you vote for. If you don’t like it, write a letter. Write a twitter if you are that annoying. No more lunches provided by lobbyists from GM or trips to Cancun on IBM’s lobbying dollar. This will be enforced by item #6.

3. Enforce term limits for any government position. The total number of years at any position is applied to a total number. For example, let’s say you were the mayor of Corruptville for 5 years then the president of the US for 4 years. Your total number of years counting against you would be 9 years. I like the number 13…..so that would be the total number of years for any political positions. After that, go get a real job and put something back into the system you just leached for 13 years. Politicians need to have real world skills just like everyone else.

4. Apply a flat tax rate. The primary branches of the government will assess the US’s flat tax rate every 4 years. They will come to an agreement and that’s it. No deductibles. No loopholes. No off-shoring funds. No hiding profits under a Swedish rock. No exemptions. Everyone pays. Every business pays. 15.9848% tax on every dollar you made, that’s it. The system is entirely too complex to incorporate adjustments applicable to every taxpayer, every family, and every business. Since everyone’s tax situations are too complex, just make it flat for everyone. This is the only way to remove the tax evasive corruption. That is the best degree of fairness without making things more complicated than they already are. Everyone will whine and complain, but once they have put their selfishness aside and learned to take responsibility for themselves they will respect the equality. (I would also like to apply a flat sales tax (with the exemption of food products) on everything purchased but that may be unnecessary.)

5. Pay people in political positions very well. Make it worth their time to work hard and perform to the best of their ability.

6. Change the IRS job description. Since we now have a flat tax rate, we only need a minimum amount of IRS agents to ensure everyone is legitimately in compliance with the flat tax rate. What in the world will we do with the thousands of excess IRS agents?? They will not be fired; they will now scrutinizingly audit every political position in existence. No more lunches provided by GM or trips to Cancun on IBM’s dollar. As a politician, if your salary did not buy that hamburger or condo in Palm Springs then you don’t get it. The IRS will know about every dollar earned, every chunk of inheritance, and every piece of accrued wealth this person and relatives will EVER acquire, even after retirement. If you are mysteriously able to purchase a brand new Escalade for $20, we will know about it. Prosecution will be extreme and quick for any noncompliance (guaranteed jail time, minimum 13 years, no probation or early release).

It’s not perfect. But it’s a start. Today it seems people want to be in politics for self serving purposes. If you eliminate the option for self-serving purposes, then, in principle, you motivate the pure in heart. You motivate good people towards political positions because the only thing they are allowed to work towards is the good of the people and not their own billfold.
If my president said I should go to war, I should want to go because I really believe he is a good person making a correct decision, not because of my loyalty to his position. I am tired of being loyal to a government that does not represent my ideals. I will NEVER 100% agree with the decisions of those in power placed over me, but I will willingly follow them if I truly felt that they are in power because they have a genuine interest in the good of the people. I want my blind faith back. P.S. I am not a nazi or hoping for a political upheaval. I really believe the US is number 1, but we need some tweaks to keep that.

Next up, social reform, immigration, the audacity of hope, welfare, healthcare, and baseball.